Browsing through my grade school yearbook, I began to laugh. It is like the yearbook transformed into one big giant joke book, just take a glimpse of my picture- you’ll laugh for ages. I had the goofiest ugly face. Back in the day, I thought I was averagely cool. Now, I can see how I made that misconception. I remember walking down hallways with my head tilted down. I remember people shielding their eyes when I smile; the metal in my mouth never failed to amaze ignorant fools. I remember being dark, really dark. I did spend hours under the sun, what sixth grade cares for his or her dear lovely complexion? My hair was frizzy and my face was shabby. I was such an ugly duckling. I was a giant red target, ready to be shot at. I had too many flaws, in an environment where flaws must never be.
Sometimes, people take advantage of those flaws and weaknesses- these are bullies. I learned about bullies on television, they take lunch moneys and give wedgies. But unaware was I before, that I had my own personal bully. No, my lunch money was safe and my underpants were never out of place. I had a different kind of bully- the worst kind. The kind that picks on one’s inner being. The kind that bullies on one’s confidence and strengths and transforms you to be the worthless chicken that bully wants.
There was this girl in my ***** grade class. She was the ----test, I guess. I never looked up to her though for she was a bad grass. An evil grass actually. I do not want to ruin her name. Often did she brag about how great and awesome her so-called magnificent ***** was. And just as often, she pounds on my self- esteem. She despises my entire existence.
Initially, I could not understand why. She never greets me in the morning, yet she has been to all my birthday parties. She hates me but she shows everyone else that I was her friend. She treated me fine in front of others but badly when alone. She was my master and I was her personal slave. I would do all the tasks she was assigned to do, and she would present it as her own. All credits were showering sparkly on her as I strived to accomplish papers and consents for every night. I was greatly affected by her bullying.
Every action I make is like crossing the road. I check both sides of the streets to make sure no car (her) was there to hit me. She has a way with words. She never failed to make me feel bad about myself. She was really good in making me feel dumb and worthless.
But I have had it. I had enough of her. I was happy and she hated seeing me happy. And I hate her hating me for being happy! Why did she have to ruin every happy moment I have. I had enough of being plankton in an ocean where she gets to be the big fish. I know my worth and I deserve better.
So I confronted her, for the very first time, I spoke up to her. “%$&%&, What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you have to step on me all the time? Why can’t you just live a life of your own, away from mine? Never did I bother you. Never did I say anything to you. Yet you continue to make my life a living hell. I am happy. I do not give a damn whether you approve of it or not. Cause you know why? You are no one.” It was one of the scariest parts of my life. Everyone in that room that day was left in shocked after hearing what I said. And to be honest, I said more than what I have written here. (&*%*^$& all once intimidated them and they never expected anyone to ever have the courage to stand up to her and slam her doings to her face.
I stood up to someone I once feared. And I felt great. I felt free. I felt like a whale, no longer that tiny plankton in the bottom of the ocean. I was never bullied over again after that. I am ME. And no one can ever step on me ever again.
Bullies pull you down because you are above them. Someway somehow, you are better than them. Next time a bully comes up to pick on me, I will know the exact words to pound them back; or the exact silence that would surely kill them.
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